Strategies for Boating Affordability
By John Morris
Illustration by Mike Mockford
How many times has this happened to you? You get down to the boat then suddenly remember you forgot to do your international money laundering or collect an important Nigerian prince windfall cash payment. By simply installing a cryptocurrency exchange terminal on your boat you can complete these transactions from your cockpit without even disrupting from a glorious day on the water. Saves time and enhances fun without disrupting your pyramid scheme or foreign shakedown.
Better yet, your altcoin access terminal can be a source of revenue to make your boating summer more affordable. By mounting the terminal on your transom, other folks in the marina or club can drop by and convert their Dogecoin wallets to Ethereum. Once installed, it’s self-operating; you collect the $8 transaction fees even as you stock the boat for that weekend cruise to the islands. One installation has already generated $40!
This idea is just one of several that can help you manage the current economic landscape by finding creative ways to generate revenue from your boat to help manage the outlays that come with boat ownership. You can’t expect the excitement of boating to be free, but as our prime minister notes, “The plan is moving Canada’s economy from reliance to resilience”. You can do the same for your own boat budget using this handy guide to boating side hustles.
How about a Podcast—you’re on the boat; the sun is shining. Your guests are effusive. Turn the whole experience into a podcast and achieve two goals: fame and status, and a steady flow of sponsorship cash that will easily cover the preparation of the giant charcuterie board the guests are demolishing.
Modest scripting is required; here’s an example
Host (you): “This week we are covering how to avoid crashing into a pier while you’re busy refreshing snacks for your guests and take your eyes off the wheel for just a moment (or two). Next week we will be taking a look at repairing the damage to your bow from that steel piling, then in the episode three we will tackle dealing with the resultant lawsuit from taking out a marina dock and the ice machine that was on it.”
Guest 2: “Did anyone just hear a loud crunching sound?”
Guest 1: “Hey bro, can you pass me that cheese tray?”
You can bank on high audience numbers with this highly relatable content.
Another excellent cash generator starts with getting your boat in front of a location manager, who will then set you up as a lucrative fashion show venue. More than a revenue source, here’s an opportunity to watch top talent at work showcasing designer yacht wear, colourful rain outfits and showstopping swimsuits while generating revenue for the bulk of your summer mooring fees. A couple of small caveats, however; one skipper I know watched in horror as a crosswind carried a particularly waif-like model over the lifelines and out to sea. Also, sometimes the stilettos leave several thousand dollars’ worth of gelcoat damage. But that aside, it’s a lot of fun for all concerned.
To make a further few bucks, try a pop-up store to sell specialty items. Working with innovative retailers, you can showcase a complete line of planters made from surplus pontoon boat floats or perhaps a nautical motif set of razor sharp chef’s knives that are too dangerous to be sold at a reputable mall.
‘Affordability’ is the word of the day and we’re here for you!
