Crossing the Line: The Ultimate Boating Knowledge Quiz

By John Morris

February marks the nadir of winter when we need to find alternate means to keep the boating candle lit. Are you a knowledgeable boater? Take this stupid test.

  1. What does VHF stand for?
    a. High falutin’
    b. Very high falutin’
    c. Communication with very high antennas
  2. Know your channel markers:
    a. Do nun buoys have a religious implication?
    b. There are red buoys and green buoys, but why not purple?
  3. “Freeboard” means:
    a. Pancake breakfast and hearty lunch included
    b. Help yourself to one of these planks
    c. Something more profound
  4. When a Texan says ‘Howdy Yawl’ is he or she:
    a. Being friendly if persistent
    b. Checking your mizzen
    c. Paying homage to regional boating dialect
  5. Boats float according to (see graphic below):
    a. Le Chatelier’s principle
    b. Murphy’s Law
    c. Some Scottish guy from the 18th century
  6. Identify these nautical terms:
    Draft
    a. Beer taps onboard
    b. Close the hatch and hand me a sweater, honey, there’s a chilly nor’easter
    Beam
    a. Me up, Scotty
    b. Mr. Beam – noted mute British comic boat captain
    Wakeboarding
    a. Similar to waterboarding but more fun
    b. The future tense of woke – politically sensitive watersports
  7. Sonar is:
    a. A cartoon hedgehog
    b. A means of communicating with fish
    c. Solar energy at night
  8. Know your Canadian manufacturers. Match these famous builders with their claim to notoriety:
    a. Flounder Harbour Boats
    b. D&D Yachts
    c. Manitoba Dryland
    d. Cape Nudnik Boatworks
    e. Spam Island Aluminum
    i. Offshore boats with square sails
    ii. First onboard chicken rotisserie
    iii. Solar-powered hairdryers in each cabin
    iv. Companionway escalators
    v. Inflatable rudder
  9. The Trent Canal System was originally built:
    a. To ship Amazon packages to Parry Sound
    b. Because locks are meaningless without bagels and cream cheese
    c. To transport oats from Thunder Bay to the Quaker porridge facility in Peterborough
  10. “Whatever Floats Your Boat” was recorded by:
    a. Ringo Star and Keith Richards under the pseudonym “the Stuffing Boxes”
    b. The Power Squadron Glee Club of North Vancouver
    c. Buddy Melges
Flotation Explained. Photo courtesy Shutterstock.

If you even attempted this quiz, we have some very deep concerns.

If you scored 24-30 points you earn the title, Master-Boater. I cannot help it your friends make fun of that. Learn to live with it.

12-24 points. That’s not bad and they can be redeemed for a quart of VC17 at the Binnacle.

Related Articles

Video Gallery

Pursuit S268 Sport CC

By Andy Adams

The Pursuit S 268 Sport centre console is a do-it-all kind of boat with a solid sense of style. Centre console designs have been developed for the southern blue water sport fishing enthusiasts (and this boat would raise fish with the best of them) but the Pursuit S 268 Sport centre console offers far more utility and enjoyment than just fishing.

Read More

Destinations

Bayfield Marine Turns 40 with Big April Events

(l to r) Holly, Adam, Pat, Ron, Shelley

Ron and Pat Reder started out in October 1984 across the road from where they are right now on the Bayfield River in Bayfield ON. The store front was about 10 x 20 and the rest of that side of the building was a stock room, wood finishing room, then behind that was more back stock and the lunchroom. Expanding every few years for the store front, then moving over to this new building five years ago, this year with Adam, Shelley, and Holly are carrying on the business.

Read More

Lifestyle