Crossing the Line: The annual CTL most meaningful gift list
The Big Orange Box – this high tech unit will resolve all your electronic concerns
By John Morris
The Captain and First Mate are expressing their joy under the mistletoe, but now it’s time to open the gifts. Will it be the endlessly meh boat-bilge aftershave and scrambled-egg hats? Thanks to this list of innovating boating ideas, you can deliver a whole new range of excitement under the tree.
Companionway Escalator
Now here’s a gift that’s both practical and considerate of others. We are not getting any younger so even three or four steps from the cockpit to the saloon can be a hardship, especially on damp days (of which there are many on boats). Equipped with sensors, the unit responds to the crew’s preference to ascend or descend, although on some isolated test runs, a lot of guests did accidentally wind up stacked in the aft cabin. But mostly it works.
You’ll see a remarkable change in Uncle Fernando’s willingness to come on board when he finds out those rushed visits to the head can be a lot less of a stair emergency. Just step on and be sure to hold the handrail.
1500 Piece Dinnerware Set
Why can’t we have nice things? Clearly, it’s because the boat is pitching around and the stemware gets broken. But dining and drinking from plastic has health implications (maybe) and is certainly not as fancy-shmancy as one might like. The problem of course is that classy china sets come with low counts of dishes. Chip a fruit nappe and the whole set is suddenly of no use.
Dinnerware by Boatcrash solves the problem. 180 dinner plates in the set, 88 cereal bowls… you get the picture. When the boat hits the dock and the lowball glasses splinter, simply have the butler (see below) sweep them into the trash and take the replacements out of the dentproof trunk that accompanies the set. Those meals on the boat will sparkle as never before.
The Big Orange Box
The electronics available for your boat these days are astounding, but a lot of boaters have trouble with installation and compatibility as well as determining the best way to have the crew understand and get the most from these remarkable innovations. Originally created as a Grade 11 science project by 17-year-old Sheldon Feister of Fenelon Falls, ON the Orange Box brings technology to a single place where you need it most. Sheldon was motivated when his mother, Stella, accidentally connected the fishfinder to the entertainment centre aboard their cruiser and her husband sat on a carp through two full episodes of Family Feud.
So give the gift that makes modern electronics super easy. Simply install the Box according to regulations using 18 AWG conductors in a sheath and do not extend more than 30 inches (760mm) outside the sheath. Conductors require a minimum rating of 600 volts avoiding loops in the area of magnetically sensitive devices by means of non-metallic clamps. The material shall be resistant to oil and gasoline according to ABYC regulation11.16.4.1.10.1. Simple, eh? Oh yeah, don’t forget to use Electric Wire, Marine Grade™, UL BC-5W2.
Butler at Sea Inc. Gift Vouchers
Why not give your boating friends the luxury enjoyed by their peers in Monte Carlo? – staff. A gift certificate for Butler at Sea means that when your giftees leave the dock next June, they will be served afternoon tea with champagne and finger tuna sandwiches by a properly clad quartermaster who will address them as Sir and Madame and call little cousin Cedric “Master Shnookums”. Spoil them!
