How to Cope with the Off-Season
By John Morris
As your fellow boater, I can appreciate the jarring change the end of boating season brings. Depression, boredom, hunger for snack foods. Here are some thoughts to help you with the cruel reality of a boatless existence.
Clean the boat for next year – Can’t we worry about that in the spring?
Bowling – Face it, we need to do something in the winter.
Hockey, basketball, curling – Sure, like you’re about to do that. Ditto skiing.
Cuddling by the fire – Sounds good for a winter activity but make sure you have a fireplace.
Cold and lonely – Yes, your friends from the dock aren’t around but Cousin Phil and Aunt Norma will be visiting.
Dry storage – When your boat is put on the hard for the winter, you’re not allowed to climb aboard with a case of beer to mitigate the sadness.
Chandlery – Head to a marine store, not online. Once you’re in there you can spend a lot of time and money. Fun.
Compelling –Now’s the time to read your engine manual. What about changing that impellor?
Binge watch –This is a rare opportunity to catch up on all 264 episodes of Murder She Wrote.
Virtual 2foot-itis –Shopping for a new boat is fun, and it’s safer in the winter when weather prevents you from visiting a dealer.
Go to a dealer – Less safe, but you can’t put a price on a good time.
Boat shows – Many dealers, a true test. What a nice 40–footer!
Courses – Improve your skills in seamanship, knots, navigation. You’ve said that before.
Charter south – The problem is you have to come back.
Run away – Well, perhaps.
Hugs – Have you been to see your boat today? Yesterday? How about tomorrow?
Santa – I’ve asked for a new self–inflating PFD.
Laundry – Have you been remiss this summer? Here’s your opportunity to refresh your shorts.
Job – See “Laundry” but add “getting fired unless you shape up”.
Shrink wrap – Shawarma with your psychiatrist will help you cope.
Go back to the marine store – Spring is coming. You need more stuff.
Okay, maybe not so compelling –Read chapter 2 of the engine manual. You really should.
Health –After a summer season of cheezies and beer indulgence, switch to carrot cake and hot chocolate for those chilly winter evenings.
Winter tires – Probably a good safety idea… if you’re into safety.
Being brave – It’s only #%!!@% weeks to launch. Together we can do this.
