Bobcaygeon 2024 Glory
By John Morris
While the Olympics were underway in August, one of Canada’s most important skills events went largely unnoticed – the Bobcaygeon Olympics of Boating (BOBs) pits competitors in water-related challenges worthy of world-class acknowledgment but overlooked at the fancypants games in Paris. That seems wrong so we are correcting the omission. And really, where would you prefer to float your rubber duck – in the Seine or in Canada’s Kawartha-pristine waters of Big Bob Channel?
Let the BOBs begin. The ceremony was comparatively small. Two tubers and their moms carried a small Canadian Tire flashlight (no open flame please) while a row of Optimist kids in red t-shirts from the sailing school proudly hold up a damp SpongeBob beach towel as they march.
The first event is the mixed doubles dock walk. This event takes competitors from the clubhouse to slip A31, a regulated distance of almost 300 feet. Competition is fierce but hometown family Sheldon and Mona with 8-year-old Nikki would have won, but their time skyrockets when they hop onto a pontoon boat at the dock for a lemonade and then stay for lunch. Their politesse in not refusing the invitation is noted as are Nikki’s impeccable cockpit table manners, but they come up short for the medal round. Still, the lunch is delicious.
It’s easy to take Cooler Packing for granted, but once you witness a competitor with years of training place the sandwiches beside the condiments without crushing a single crust or pimento, you will be in awe of this event. “I want to bring my skills to the boating youth of tomorrow. If I can pack lunch, you can too.” The kids in the audience are filled with admiration and dream of one day putting their own cooler aboard the family boat with pride.
Backing into your slip is a highly skilled seamanship task that most Canadians avoid. If you want to make it sound even more impressive, try the continental-chic ‘Mediterranean Mooring’. This is the grand finale event of the Games.
The boats are lined up for their attempt. First, a Regal Commodore from Wisconsin. The helmsperson hits reverse but gets distracted by the sunbathers floating by on a raft. The dock splinters – minus 50 points. Next up, a Beneteau 305 from Lake Champlain. The helmsperson approaches the dock with timidity, then abruptly stops. The spectators are in shock! He is in tears. “Je ne peux pas le faire.” Apparently, as a child, he was frightened by a rogue swan standing on the dock and the scars remain. The crowd rushes to console him with flutes of de-alcoholized champagne.
The Canadian driver is young Francesca from nearby Lakefield who holds up her new operator’s card for the crowd to see. The harbormaster assigned slip B11 but it looks pretty tight. Has the harbormaster got the beam wrong? Will she be able to squeeze in? Francesca hits reverse confidently. The boat slinks into the slip with but centimetres to spare on either side. BUT one of her fenders is riding up to the coaming, the tension has crowd silenced the crowd as the fender teeters. The fender wobbles, bounces then pops into place between boats and the stern lines are neatly cleated. Everyone erupts in joy. Francesca takes her place on the podium, her golden Bob medallion proudly on display, the onlookers celebrating. The Gord Downie anthem Bobcaygen accompanies the lowering flags. Another fabulous event. See you in four years.
