Crossing the Line: The Ultimate Boating Knowledge Quiz

By John Morris

February marks the nadir of winter when we need to find alternate means to keep the boating candle lit. Are you a knowledgeable boater? Take this stupid test.

  1. What does VHF stand for?
    a. High falutin’
    b. Very high falutin’
    c. Communication with very high antennas
  2. Know your channel markers:
    a. Do nun buoys have a religious implication?
    b. There are red buoys and green buoys, but why not purple?
  3. “Freeboard” means:
    a. Pancake breakfast and hearty lunch included
    b. Help yourself to one of these planks
    c. Something more profound
  4. When a Texan says ‘Howdy Yawl’ is he or she:
    a. Being friendly if persistent
    b. Checking your mizzen
    c. Paying homage to regional boating dialect
  5. Boats float according to (see graphic below):
    a. Le Chatelier’s principle
    b. Murphy’s Law
    c. Some Scottish guy from the 18th century
  6. Identify these nautical terms:
    Draft
    a. Beer taps onboard
    b. Close the hatch and hand me a sweater, honey, there’s a chilly nor’easter
    Beam
    a. Me up, Scotty
    b. Mr. Beam – noted mute British comic boat captain
    Wakeboarding
    a. Similar to waterboarding but more fun
    b. The future tense of woke – politically sensitive watersports
  7. Sonar is:
    a. A cartoon hedgehog
    b. A means of communicating with fish
    c. Solar energy at night
  8. Know your Canadian manufacturers. Match these famous builders with their claim to notoriety:
    a. Flounder Harbour Boats
    b. D&D Yachts
    c. Manitoba Dryland
    d. Cape Nudnik Boatworks
    e. Spam Island Aluminum
    i. Offshore boats with square sails
    ii. First onboard chicken rotisserie
    iii. Solar-powered hairdryers in each cabin
    iv. Companionway escalators
    v. Inflatable rudder
  9. The Trent Canal System was originally built:
    a. To ship Amazon packages to Parry Sound
    b. Because locks are meaningless without bagels and cream cheese
    c. To transport oats from Thunder Bay to the Quaker porridge facility in Peterborough
  10. “Whatever Floats Your Boat” was recorded by:
    a. Ringo Star and Keith Richards under the pseudonym “the Stuffing Boxes”
    b. The Power Squadron Glee Club of North Vancouver
    c. Buddy Melges
Flotation Explained. Photo courtesy Shutterstock.

If you even attempted this quiz, we have some very deep concerns.

If you scored 24-30 points you earn the title, Master-Boater. I cannot help it your friends make fun of that. Learn to live with it.

12-24 points. That’s not bad and they can be redeemed for a quart of VC17 at the Binnacle.

Related Articles


New Boats: Beneteau Oceanis 34.1 – A Sleek, Good -Looking Delight To Sail

By Katherine Stone

There is nothing more that I enjoy than being with friends and messing about in boats. Messing about in brand-new boats on a champagne sailing day on Lake Ontario at the beginning of the summer doesn’t get any better. To have the new owner, Helmuth Strobel and Anchor Yachts dealer Pancho Jimenez aboard made it even more special, as they can also speak to what they truly enjoy about the boat. We keep our own boat in a harbour that has a long waiting list for boats over 35 feet, so this little gem would definitely fit the bill and feels like a much bigger boat. True to the spirit of the 7th generation Oceanis line, the 34.1 is built in Poland and replaces the 35.1. It is 1,000 lbs lighter, 14 cm narrower and has 29% more sail area.

Read More


Destinations

Telegraph Cove—from Resource Community to Tourist Delight

Text and photos by Marianne Scott

Telegraph Cove is a small indent situated on Johnstone Strait in the Salish Sea, 15nm southeast of Port McNeill and near Robson Bight, famous for its orca-rubbing beaches. The village has experienced many iterations with a long history—the harbour once served as a summer camp for the Kwakwaka’wakw who fished and hunted here beginning about 8,000 years ago. Many of their descendants still live in the area.

It’s a hopping place in the summer—winter only caretakers remain on site.

Read More