Crossing the Line: How AI makes boating easy
By John Morris
Your voice is hoarse from talking on the radio; watching the wakeboarders bounce for hours is exhausting. Chatting with ‘randos’ on the dock takes away valuable beer time. Isn’t there a better solution?
You’ve heard that AI paired Drake with The Weeknd for a hugely successful hit. You know half the college students in the country rely on ChatGTP for those important philosophy and thermodynamics essays. AIBoat brings us that kind of digital convenience as we rush toward the future. I mean who has time for all this?
Here’s an app that takes the intelligence out of boating and leaves you to pursue fewer tiring aspects of the pastime we all adore. Just switch on the VHF and leave the rest to the app. “Pan Pan All Stations. We really need to get the laptop re-charged and BTW can you send some additional refreshments? Coast Guard, pay no attention to our irregular driving pattern. BoatNameGoesHere out.”
For the many on-the-boat activities that take the fun out of a day on the water, just use your cell phone camera to monitor the kids waterskiing out the back, or your weekend guests panicking as they dock at your slip. The system will alert you if anything goes awry or better yet, shout suitable salty invectives at the gas dock guy or the canoeist dilly-dallying in the channel. It’s a ‘no-brainer’, literally.
Cruising is finally less of a chore. By simply connecting the GPS and servo controls to your laptop, the AI system will guide you to whichever destination you choose, or if you’re too otherwise occupied to make that choice, simply leave it to AI. “Sweetheart it looks like we’re heading down the intracoastal on our way to some tropical island or other. Let’s see where AICaribbean lands us.”
Of course, if your schedule is too full to take in a winter port this year, simply let the system do the heavy lifting. Your boat will make its way to, say, Martinique, dock gently at a suitable marina and transfer dockage via Interac. Meanwhile, you can relax at home and watch the whole operation online, or just skip it altogether. Your AISocial app will coordinate panorama videos of the island paradise, then post gushy updates day-by-day to Facebook and Instagram so your many online friends know you have an impressive boat and the good taste to take it to the Bahamas or wherever. Everyone can be suitably fascinated while you stay home and stream Gerry Springer reruns in the sanctity of your own basement. You’re a busy person – where does it say you’ll always be in the mood for swaying palm trees and pina coladas?
Photo caption: This must be somewhere we’d love!
